I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
