More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
