you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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