Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
They are going to name an STD after you.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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