My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
