States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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