it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
