The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
