They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
