Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I will be naked everywhere
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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