...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
