I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
