Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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