i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
