I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
