I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
