That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
there was a trapeze. enough said
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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