this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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