he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
