The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
