dude i'm inner monologue high
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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