you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
