make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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