taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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