They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
