Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
