Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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