I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
