I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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