I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Randomize
