Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
