apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
