You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
