How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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