Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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