You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
