do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
