Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
