So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
