I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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