it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
