there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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