YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
