Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
