we made out on top of his cat.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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