your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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