Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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