We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
