True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
