there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
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