I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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