Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
