There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Sorry about my life...
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
